Big Sister, Little Sister

Before Russell and I even found out that we were expecting Cayleigh, our youngest, we had discussed many times how much space between kids was best for their relationship, how to make sure they got along, etc...  You see, we had seen how hard the transition had been for several of our friends whose older children were suddenly no longer an only child but the older child.  Honestly, I don't think that there is a magic age, although it seems that either the children need to be close enough together that the older one doesn't have much time to get used to being an only child or there needs to be a long enough distance that the older child really can understand what's going on.  The conclusion we reached, though, was that there was no good conclusion as to the age.

Then, surprise, we found out that we were expecting Cayleigh, who was born in December 2012, putting our girls 19.5 months apart.  I must say, though, that overall, Seanna has done really good with the big sister thing all along; although there are still times that she has to be reminded to look out for or share with her sister.  That said, Cayleigh is now up big enough to stand up for herself some, and look out Seanna! because Cayleigh is feisty!

Lately, though, I've been really pleased to see how much Seanna has embraced being an older sister.  Whenever we're traveling or out somewhere where the girls can get a drink or a treat, Seanna makes sure to get one for both her and Cayleigh, usually picking out Cayleigh's first.  Russell played one of those stuffed animal games at the gas station the other day and won a purple bear and Seanna promptly told him that the bear was Cayleigh's.  She also helped calm Cayleigh down several times while we were driving, giving her some more stuffed animals (including Seanna's "Harley" and "Minnie") and talking to her.  Little things, I know, but a lot for a child who's not even 3 years old yet!

The big key, I think, from my experience, is to teach your children to share and then try to treat them as equally as possible.  Each child has their own special needs, so treating a child equally doesn't necessarily mean treating them exactly the same.  But, it can be so easy to unconsciously treat one child like they're more special than another, for whatever reasons, and that can lead to lasting problems.  Seanna has learned that sharing and being kind are rewarded and that not sharing and being mean are punished.  Cayleigh is now learning those lessons and is fortunate enough to have a big sister to help with those lessons.  

Playing peek-a-boo with each other.

It's been a busy few days here with finishing up yardwork to get ready for fall/winter and preparing for some upcoming photo sessions.  Have you ever noticed that cleaning something is essentially putting a sign out that says "come spill something here, etc...?"  It seems like every time we get the floor mopped here or a new tablecloth on the table that the first thing that happens is that something is spilled.  Honestly, it's become a running joke.

In thinking about that, though, it occurred to me that I notice that happening more when I'm trying to get the house clean because other people are coming over, I'm taking more pictures, etc...  Now, I'm not saying that spills don't happen other times or that having a clean house is not important; but, what is it about us moms that makes us feel like we have to be perfect?  Think about it, when you take pictures of your kids, etc... or tell people about stuff, do you share the whole picture or just the part that makes you sound like supermom?  Or, if you don't meet up to the supermom standard that you've set for yourself (either by watching other moms or by your own ideals), does it make you feel like less of a mom?

Guess what?  No mom is perfect and what makes us supermoms is the fact that we love and protect our children.  Are we going to get it right every time?  No, but we're still supermoms because that's our job.  So, allow yourself to relax and enjoy your children's childhood.  And, by all means, take pictures of all of the moments, not just the ones where your children are perfectly posed, etc...

 Here's a perfect example of what I'm talking about.  In the picture above, my oldest daughter, Seanna got a hold of a highlighter and decided to use it to put make-up on.  Although definitely not her most angelic-looking moment, this will be a picture that will be fun to look back on in the future.