Big Sister, Little Sister

Before Russell and I even found out that we were expecting Cayleigh, our youngest, we had discussed many times how much space between kids was best for their relationship, how to make sure they got along, etc...  You see, we had seen how hard the transition had been for several of our friends whose older children were suddenly no longer an only child but the older child.  Honestly, I don't think that there is a magic age, although it seems that either the children need to be close enough together that the older one doesn't have much time to get used to being an only child or there needs to be a long enough distance that the older child really can understand what's going on.  The conclusion we reached, though, was that there was no good conclusion as to the age.

Then, surprise, we found out that we were expecting Cayleigh, who was born in December 2012, putting our girls 19.5 months apart.  I must say, though, that overall, Seanna has done really good with the big sister thing all along; although there are still times that she has to be reminded to look out for or share with her sister.  That said, Cayleigh is now up big enough to stand up for herself some, and look out Seanna! because Cayleigh is feisty!

Lately, though, I've been really pleased to see how much Seanna has embraced being an older sister.  Whenever we're traveling or out somewhere where the girls can get a drink or a treat, Seanna makes sure to get one for both her and Cayleigh, usually picking out Cayleigh's first.  Russell played one of those stuffed animal games at the gas station the other day and won a purple bear and Seanna promptly told him that the bear was Cayleigh's.  She also helped calm Cayleigh down several times while we were driving, giving her some more stuffed animals (including Seanna's "Harley" and "Minnie") and talking to her.  Little things, I know, but a lot for a child who's not even 3 years old yet!

The big key, I think, from my experience, is to teach your children to share and then try to treat them as equally as possible.  Each child has their own special needs, so treating a child equally doesn't necessarily mean treating them exactly the same.  But, it can be so easy to unconsciously treat one child like they're more special than another, for whatever reasons, and that can lead to lasting problems.  Seanna has learned that sharing and being kind are rewarded and that not sharing and being mean are punished.  Cayleigh is now learning those lessons and is fortunate enough to have a big sister to help with those lessons.  

Playing peek-a-boo with each other.